Restart

Holy January 5th, Batman!

I don’t even know how to start this thing tonight…

SO much has happened in the past couple of weeks, and I got a lot on my brain. So, we’re diving in!

  • School
    • How the heck am I going to PAY for school?! I’ve been on financial aid probation for this year, and I broke one of their restriction/guideline thingies, so I am now appealing  to have some sort of money just so I can stinkin’ graduate!
    • Graduation. May 7. It’s only taken me 6 years…
    • But first, classes. 9 more credits….9 more credits…9 more credits….I. Just. Want. To. Be. Done.
  • Essential Oils!
    • Heck yaaaassssss! So, I am now a Wellness Advocate for doterra-logo and I couldn’t be more excited!! I have seen a ridiculous amount of personal benefits from using the oils, and I just had to share the wealth! If you are interested in what the heck I am talking about, or want oils but do not know where to start, or just general questions, message me! I would be more than willing to get you all knowledged up!
    • Psssst…..I am currently diffusing a blend of lemon and lavender and I feel so dang focused yet so relaxed. That is such a new feeling to me and its AHHHH-MAAAAZIIIIIIING. (So is the smell!)
  • Finances…
    • Ahhhh, what young adult isn’t stressing out about their financial situation???
    • Not enough work during the winter time, and it’s starting to really effect my budget. Yikes! (Thank goodness for doterra-logo and the amazing business opportunity!)
  • Organization!
    • I have strived for the last couple of years to become more and more organized, and, for the most part, I have somewhat succeeded.
    • Planner. Every stinkin’ year, I tell myself “I am gonna get a planner, and keep it organized and it shall be my lifeline!” And every year, I never keep it up. But with so much on my plate right now, I feel like it will be nothing but beneficial…and really hard to do! I look at people, like a former roommate and my best friend, and so many others, and here they are, so ambitious and tidy and cute with their planners. And I’m just over here *scratching my head with a furrowed brow. *Buuuut I have my big calendar (which did get me through last year) and a cute planer with some sticky notes, and highlighters….color coordination man!
  • FOOD!

As Fall Out Boy would sing….it’s irresistible!  ;]

  • People
    • Ah, yes. How can someone love people so much, yet despise being around them??? Gahhhh!
    • My job is a social job, and I am required to deal with a bunch of drunks watching hockey. It gets interesting. To say the least…but it can be pretty hilarious! I work with some amazing people. Be jealous! Just kidding. If you don’t work food/alcohol service, there is NO need to be jealous..
    • The  pain and hurt that a single individual can cause, and how long it can linger – especially in the midst of trying to start your life and move on and be truly happy. There is almost a daily reminder of the hurt. And it’s not just one individual…it’s many that have caused some sort of pain in my short little life span. BUT  that is what makes me the beautiful and knowledgeable human being I am today! I would NEVER go back and trade a single day to have less hurt and pain. (Once again, doterra-logo has become such a saving grace to me!)
    • Friends. They may be few and far between, but they are oh so very important to me! They see the hurt and pain, and they choose to love me anyway. And put up with my crazy self. That’s a feat in it’s self! Hahahaha! (I really wish emojis existed in WordPress right now…) ;D
  • God.
    • Oh man, do I suck at being a Christian. A lot. Like, a crap ton. But God still loves me and He always will. It is SO incredibly hard to live in this crazy world, let alone to live for His will. As humans, we are easily drawn to the worldly views and the worldly way of things. And, in the process, we destroy ourselves then proceed to destroy others – often without knowing it. I struggle so much to fit in with everyone around, and that almost always means neglecting God and His will.
    • I want to be in control. I want to be able to plan ahead and know what to expect and when to expect it. But man, I could never be more wrong. I have experienced His love and His redemption and His healing. Yet, why do I continue to not trust in His plan and His will He has in place for me??
    • I want to be more like Him, but I also want the immediate pleasures and the artificial joy of the world. And I want you all to know that I am trying, and I will fail, time and time again. Some failures may last for a realllllllyyyy long time, while others I will simply battle in my head, on my own. I am far from being the Christ lover I am called to be, but it is my daily goal to love God more and more.
    • All of these things I have talked about tonight?? If I would just give it all to God, then He would be in control, I would be less stressed, more loving and patient, and more accepting of what my future may hold for me. I just don’t want to let go.
    • What I want you to know:
      • I am trying to live my life for God and to be more like Him. It’s not just a daily challenge, but it is a challenge e v e r y s e c o n d of the day.
      • I am terrified. People know my past, they know my failures, and I fear people hold that against me. I want to change. Every ounce in my body. So please, do not hold me back.

 

Y’all are amazing. Keep it up, okay?

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Psalm 65:8

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